What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
