I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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