he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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