i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
