a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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