I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the condom got lost in my hair
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
