Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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