i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
