At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
