You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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