O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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