I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
