my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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