please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
