i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.