she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.