You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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