Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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(847): View more from Illinois

We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things

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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(706): View more from Georgia

He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

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(806): View more from Texas

Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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(+61): View more from Australia

You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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(408): View more from California

I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary

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(613): View more from Ontario

It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.

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