I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.