she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
