she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
