Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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