I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize