Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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