We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
