I'm drive I can fine osifer
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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