i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
