Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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