Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am midnight drunk by noon
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Boobs are out for the taking
40s are totally the cure
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
