i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize