Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
