If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
