So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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