i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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