Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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