just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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