it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
