I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
