all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I believe in your delicious
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
