how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
