I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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