Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
