I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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