i don't like sucking hair
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
