Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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