Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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