when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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