Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
