wanna go halves on a baby?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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