Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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