If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
