I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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