im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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