Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
