HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
