We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
