I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
