I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you mean i was at the winter classic?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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