The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
