The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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