Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
