if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
