I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
