my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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