This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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