they need to just BURY HIM!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
