So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
