Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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