i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
